Confession of a Spiritual Narcissist

I understand that I'm not very "nice" when it comes to my views on life and that I can be dismissive of certain questions and opinions. Trust me, as harsh as I can be with others, I'm way worse to myself.

And that's not good.

As much as I preach "radical acceptance" and "strong boundaries" I should also include "radical kindness and compassion".

My intention is that kindness and compassion are always present and I shouldn't have to say it (kind of like the dad who never says "I love you", but you know he means it), but I still should be kinder, more compassionate, and I should listen just to listen and not to respond.

Yes, I "should" be kinder and more understanding and more tolerant...and now I'm going to say that I despise "love and light" spirituality and waste-of-time questions.

Look, all of the bullshit I spout stems from "having the rug pulled out from under me" when my Christian worldview shattered. I was a weak person and in my core I still despise that person. Can't stand him. He was a moron who blindly trusted and was made to believe that he didn't matter.

But, dammit, I matter. I matter a lot. I'm the only thing in this world that does matter, because if I don't matter then there is no world.

My experience creates my perception of the world and if my perception of the world is skewed then my experience is skewed.

And I don't know where the fuck I'm going with this. Why do I feel the incessant need to keep writing this garbage? Why does it matter?

Sorry, I'm having a bad day and I'm tired of online "spiritual" bullshit. The "spiritual" community is just as based and narcissistic as every group. There's no difference. We just wrap ourselves up in pretty words and insincere humility and pretend we've somehow risen above all of life's issues. We're full of shit, no one should listen to any of us.

I probably shouldn't post this, but I'm a glutton for self-punishment, so maybe I will post it.

Why don't you believe in one specific religion?

Because I do not/cannot believe in an "absolute truth".

All religions are human-made. At some point somebody claimed to have an encounter with the Divine and that person or persons convinced a bunch of people to be their followers/disciples. From then on it's just a massive game of "telephone" as the message gets passed down the line it gets contorted and adjusted and interpreted in different ways.

Groups get big and leaders arise and those leaders have conflicting interpretations of the message or of what happened and the big groups ends up splitting into smaller groups. Those smaller groups get bigger and divide into smaller groups again.

Religions are simply cellular biology in macro proportions and none of them actually care about "truth", they just want to be "right" so they can say they have life "figured out". Break life down to a formula so it's not confusing and terrifying anymore.

Because if you have life "figured out", the onus isn’t on you any longer to change. You don’t have to think, you just have to follow the formula.

And that's not "truth" and it's definitely not "absolute" either.

Pondering

July 20, 2025

Have you ever wondered if there's any real "point" to spiritual-seeking and/or self-betterment?

I'm living in this phase right now. I'm wondering what the hell the point has been to all of this work and so-called "improvement". Am I better? Am I any different? Was it all going to happen anyway? Did I need to work so hard at it all?

It's all puffery and kidding ourselves into "preferred" behaviours, is it not?

Well, I suppose I can honestly say that I am not the same person that I was 3 years ago, 10 years ago, 18 years ago, etc.. That much is true, I certainly am a differently thinking and behaving person to who I have been in the past.

Would I have changed anyway, without doing all the inner work?

Maybe I wouldn't have. I've known a lot of people who have not changed throughout their lives and they genuinely seem stuck in specific loops of behaviour and thought. I'm certain we all know an "Uncle Joe" or "Aunt Sue" who keep spouting their same rhetoric at every Christmas gathering.

And I guess I just answered my own question with that observation. I don't want to be "Uncle Joe" or "Aunt Sue". I don't want to be stuck in my rhetoric. I don't want to think or behave exactly as I do today 10, 20, 30 years from now.

That's the point of spiritual-seeking and self-betterment, is it not? It's not about "answers", it's about learning to ask new questions.

Update

June 30, 2025

I've added a page on Archetypes in order to list out potential pathways for certain character traits or even personality types. These can be applied to real or fictional individuals.

The World Weaver & The Soul Diver

Genderless Journey Models for a Modern World

Why are New Journey models necessary?

Questions I've typically come across during my time learning and teaching the Hero's and Heroine's Journeys:

"Do you believe the Hero's and Heroine's Journeys are misunderstood?"
 Answer: Vastly so. They became so tangled up with gender that most people have missed the greater message behind each Journey.

"Is the Hero's Journey misogynistic?"
 Answer: No

"Can women take the Hero's Journey?"
 Answer: Yes, in modern societies it's actually become necessary for women to take the Hero's Journey.

"Can men take the Heroine's Journey?"
 Answer: Yes

"Do men balk at being called Heroines and Princesses?"
 Answer: Yes, men often become like little boys when Feminine pronouns/nouns are placed upon them.

*Note for men* Men, we have nothing to prove to the world and the world owes us nothing. We should be secure in our Masculinity and Femininity and be good mentors for the generations coming after us. It's time for us to stop looking to the outer world for meaning. It's time to look and act from Within.

"Do Trans people need their own Journey?"
 Answer: No.

"What about people of other genders?"
 Answer: The Journeys should have never involved gender.

After years of studying and mapping the Hero's and Heroine's Journeys, I have decided that the simplest and best solution for every reason, concern, or question, is to remove Gender from the Journeys entirely. More on my reasons and process for doing so here: Why Create New Journey Models?

Thus, I hereby introduce the World Weaver's Journey and the Soul Diver's Journey. Genderless journey models for a modern world.

What is the World Weaver's Journey?

The entire purpose of the World Weaver’s Journey is to go out into the world, create your boundaries and choose your own path - because other people always try to push the Weaver to choose some existing path that they think you should be on.

What is the Soul Diver's Journey?

The entire point of the Soul Diver’s Journey is to go down into your own internal depths, reignite your emotional center, revive your connection to Love, come to terms with your Trauma, and bring all that emotional, creative Energy back out into the World.

Where are you right now?

Don't get stuck on the beginning stages of these Journeys!

During my time studying and teaching the Hero's and Heroine's Journeys, I noticed that most people flocked to "The Call to Adventure", "Refusal of the Call", and "Supernatural Aid" and then the numbers would dwindle further into the Journeys.

If you are here, on this site, you are already far beyond the mere beginnings of these Journeys!

The beginning steps are only there to tell you how you got to now. Trust me, you are not in them because you are already seeking beyond them.

Right now, since you are here, the most likely probability (other than pure curiosity) is that you are either "Standing in the Moonlight" of your Soul Diver's Journey OR "Standing on the Shoreline" of your World Weaver's Journey. You are on the cusp of Acceptance (healing Trauma) or of Overcoming (setting Boundaries).

If you turn away from Acceptance or Overcoming at this moment - which you may, and that is just fine, you'll be back - you'll enter back into the "Neverending War" or "Victim or Chosen One". These are the stages that our entire Western Society is caught in right now and you can stay caught with everyone else or you can take the difficult step and move forward.

Red Pill?

Blue Pill?

Have you considered not taking either pill? (No one ever mentions Neo's other options, do they?)

Website explanation/blathering...

This website is under ongoing construction. I'm trying to walk away from Google and social media in general since I'm unimpressed about the billionaires (literally) standing behind a certain political figure who shall not be named, but is clearly Ego-Incarnate.

Back to the point: new information and features added over time. Write to the email address at the top of this page if you have questions about anything on the site or if you're just feeling friendly and chatty.

This is going to be a very long-term project. I'm not the type of person that can crank out content week by week. It has to be slow. I promise some decent stuff will be here for your children to enjoy when they grow up.

The goal is to have an integrated, click-through Journey Tracker and maybe something animated and fun in the long-term future.

There is zero cost to the User. You don't have to join a mailing list, there is no hidden information you'll have to pay for later. The hope is that this website will be a tool you can use to aid you on your Journey and that it can be a legacy of sorts for myself.

I know the world is really crazy right now. There's a huge pushback on Awakening Consciousness from the Medieval Mind by the human egoic nature. Will it always be this way?

Self Awareness is the key to a better world for everyone. Self Awareness, Enlightened Mentors, looking less to external "answers" for our internal problems.

A better world is a long-term goal. Violence and forced-change is a short-term adjustment that always flips after a few decades.

For now, lessen your own suffering by creating your own personal boundaries and deal with your traumas. Recognize that your anger is only a mask for fear and pain that is preventing you from feeling the full gamut of your emotional core.

Goddess blessings upon you, you have all the weapons and knowledge you need within you.

Journey inward, journey onward.

-Mark Stratton

About Mark

14 years in The "Perfect" World. 7 years stuck in a "Chosen One" loop. 8 years in The "Mundane" World. 17 years as a Soul Diver, 6 years as a World Weaver, Mark continues his own Journeys with new psychological and mythological models of the human experience.

Read about Mark's Journeys...